Going Nowhere

Do you ever feel like your life is going nowhere? (This has unintentionally started to sound like one of those self-help books-it will stop, promise!)

I have applied to around thirty different jobs. I've been to six interviews. And they've all rejected me. Now it wouldn't matter so much if they were important jobs where you actually have to possess a brain cell. No, these jobs have been shop work, temporary Christmas posts. I thought I'd be welcomed with open arms, finally someone with A levels! I was wrong. Thanks to the constant bombardment of propaganda from my Mum which sounded mainly like, 'Good grades are all that's important (and by good she means all A*s, even for A levels)' I've got it embedded in me that being clever somehow makes you better than other people. Bollocks. And since not getting all A*s or even all A*s since GCSE I've felt like a complete failure! And now it turns out I've been neglecting the skills that are really important in life, connecting with people. Making friends and culturing relationships. All because my Mum told me it wasn't important, that I had to stop socialising, that I couldn't stay over at people's house in my A level year, despite all of my friends doing so. I gave up so much last year, all my sport, all my music, and for what? Standard grades for a standard place at university (Sheffield to study English Literature). And I know what you're thinking, that I should be proud of myself, that compared to other people I did really well and I'm so lucky...but I'm still disappointed. I should have been at Durham, pushing on Oxbridge (apparently). She's just got to realise that I'm not that clever, and there are more important things in life than grades. I just can't wait to get to university. Now I've just got to figure out what to do with this year, jobless and hopeless.

A x

ps. Sorry for the depressing tone, I've been ill this week, too much time to think!

Scrooge

I have a problem with Christmas. I can't quite believe that people are already getting excited about it, it's thirty-seven days away! Stores were putting up their Christmas decoration as early as October, when we still had a sixth of the year to go. It drives me up the wall. Personally I think there should be a ban on anyone even mentioning Christmas until December 1st. Twenty-five days is plenty of time to play the Christmas tunes, get the decorations up and start buying every presents. Old man rant over.

Blackberry Lovin'!

So I finally gave in to peer pressure and the sight of seeing everyone's Facebook box with a random assortment of letters and numbers, and bought myself a Blackberry Curve 3G. And now I am completely addicted! Having never had a smart phone before, it's a complete revelation having Facebook, Twitter and MSN anywhere I go, I love it!

But what I really dislike is the 'Read' feature on BBM (Blackberry Messenger). It means that whenever you send a message to someone, you can see whether they've read it or not, and whether your message was too boring to reply to! It also means that people can see whether you've read their message and whether you're ignoring them. It makes me nervous, I feel like I have to reply immediately otherwise they'll get mad.

Apart from that, it's the best phone I've ever had, especially with two more of my friends buying one. Now all that's left to do is decide what colour case to get! The question is, will I ever grow out of loving the colour pink? Probably not. ;)

Gilmore Girls

I want to be Rory Gilmore.